


Emergency Protocols

by scintilla10



Category: Spy (2015)
Genre: F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 18:24:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5015341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scintilla10/pseuds/scintilla10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nancy is called out into the field once again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emergency Protocols

**Author's Note:**

  * For [were_duck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/were_duck/gifts).



> With thanks to my lovely A, for the beta.

Nancy was in the dairy aisle debating between blueberry and mango yogurt when Susan rang her up.

"Hello, baby," Susan said with an inappropriate level of cheerfulness.

"Hello to you too, baby," Nancy replied gamely. Then she said, "Is this a code? We didn't get to pet names that time we came up with our emergency friend protocols --"

To be fair, they'd been drinking martinis that night, so Nancy's memory was maybe a little fuzzy on specifics.

"No, I'm fine, I'm fine," Susan said.

Nancy gasped. That was exactly what a person with a gun to her head would say! 

"No, seriously, I just took a little walk along Pine Street," Susan added quickly. "And, then -- um --"

That protocol Nancy remembered. She dropped the blueberry yogurt. "Your house is burning down?" she exclaimed frantically. "Are you okay? Of course you're okay, you're speaking to me. Oh my god, I was so worried for a moment. How bad is the damage? Oh, Susan, did you save your favourite cake pan?"

"I meant _Maple Street_ ," Susan hissed.

Well, that was a relief. Maple was a non-deadly protocol. Nancy relaxed a little and, after a moment of reflection, put both kinds of yogurt in her grocery cart.

"Well, that's good. I mean, you just bought all those flattering new clothes -- smoke damage is the worst. You remember that time my luggage nearly ended up being incinerated in a Guy Fawkes bonfire in Norwich? My black lace camisole was never the same." She sighed. "Well? What's going on, then?"

In the background, she heard someone say, "Is your wife coming to get you, dear?"

"Oh, um," Susan said, and then -- "Baby, I need a lift home." Susan's voice was pitched rather low and throaty. Nancy had to admit that it was very sexy. Especially when she was still calling Nancy _baby_ for inexplicable reasons. She wouldn't mind if Susan used that voice more often during missions, when it was only Nancy listening to her. Well, okay, Nancy and the CIA. 

But Susan's style tended to be a little more loudmouth-y. Luckily, it worked for her. Well, to be perfectly honest, it worked for Nancy, too. She could listen to Susan yell insults at bad guys all day.

"Of course," Nancy agreed. "Where are you?"

"The grocery store," Susan said.

Nancy looked around automatically. "Me too!" she exclaimed.

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "The one near my -- our apartment?" Susan said.

"Oh," Nancy said. "No, I mean the one near my -- I mean, our -- flat. You know I like the deli better at this one. They always let me taste the hummus."

"You've gotta have the right amount of garlic," Susan said.

"Exactly," Nancy said, in satisfaction.

"Well, could you come over to this one?" Susan said. "Uh, soon? I need my -- spouse."

"What was that?" Nancy said. "I thought you just said spouse."

"Yes, thank you, baby," Susan said nonsensically. "That's why I love you. I'll see you in ten minutes, okay?"

"Are you sure you said Maple Street?" Nancy demanded. Emergency protocols had definitely not covered spontaneous romantic declarations.

"Love you, bye!" Susan said, and hung up.

Nancy stood stock still for a moment, then abandoned her grocery cart and made straight for the exit.

Nancy had been working for the CIA for six years and, despite her recent promotion, she was happy to remain steadfastly deskbound. Put her in front of a computer with her equipment and headset and she knew how to handle herself. Non-physical support positions were definitely her wheelhouse. Out in the field, on the other hand … Susan, she knew, would be good at this sort of thing -- flying across town to step into a new identity to rescue her best friend from unknown but possibly perilous danger! Why, last month in Moscow, Susan had talked three smugglers into walking right into the waiting arms of her team without even drawing a weapon, and the mission before that she infiltrated an international climatology summit in Cartegena, and took down a eco-terrorist with no back-up whatsoever. With every mission, Susan was proving why she was the best woman for the job.

Nancy parked haphazardly and possibly illegally, and ran breathlessly into the store. She rang Susan the moment she crossed the threshold, but even before Susan picked up, Nancy had already spotted her. She was seated on an overturned apple crate near the fruit and veg section, and there were people standing around her solicitously.

Nancy strode over, determined to be whoever Susan needed her to be even if her heart was threatening to pound itself right out of her ribcage.

"Hello, baby," she said, her voice only squeaking a little. Susan looked up at her, eyes wide and cheeks faintly flushed. When she smiled up at Nancy, it was definitely not her usual smile. It was her _spy smile_. Nancy spent a lot of time reviewing CIA video intel these days, and she was pretty familiar with that expression on Susan's face.

"Here she is!" Susan said brightly as Nancy reached her. "Hi, baby."

She was, Nancy realized, sitting on the apple crate because there was an icepack wrapped around her ankle.

"Oh, Susan!" Nancy exclaimed. "Are you injured? You didn't say a word about that!" She dropped to the floor and inspected Susan's ankle closely before she remembered to add, belatedly, "Baby."

"Oh, no," Susan said, sounding a little embarrassed. "It's all been a bit of an overreaction. I just twisted it a little when I turned around too quickly when Mrs. Fitz and Mrs. Singh and Mrs. Watts and, um, everyone else were telling me about their various eligible relations. They all belong to my local neighbourhood association," she added meaningfully.

"Oh, I see," Nancy said. She looked disapprovingly at the group of ladies who smiled innocently back. They were clearly cunning, meddling busybodies. When she looked back at Susan, Susan only hesitated a brief moment before she leaned up and kissed Nancy quickly on the cheek. Nancy was so distracted by that, she almost missed the way Susan deftly and unobtrusively took hold of Nancy's left hand and slipped a ring onto her finger.

"I had to break their hearts by telling them I was already married." Susan cleared her throat, and met Nancy's eyes. "To you, of course."

Nancy tried to put a normal yes-I'm-married-to-this-person expression on her face. 

"Such a lovely, tall one," one of the ladies said admiringly.

"Not as tall as my Kevin," one of the others said peevishly.

"Yes, she is," Susan said, ignoring that and smiling at Nancy.

"That's me!" Nancy said. "Tall-y McTall-face. That's my nickname actually. Everyone calls me it."

"It's not her actual name," Susan said. "This is, uh --"

At Susan's brief hesitation, Nancy panicked. "Amber," she said loudly. "Amber Valentine."

The look on Susan's face was adorably stunned, and if Nancy hadn't been attempting to remember where the exit to the store was, where she had parked, and if she could possibly get them both to the car what with Susan's ankle, she would have taken a moment to fully appreciate how cute Susan looked.

Susan took her hand, and Nancy smiled frantically at the cunning old busybodies.

"Yes," Susan said rather flatly. "My wife, Amber Valentine."

"Amber, so nice to meet you," one of the ladies said. "Dear Susan never tells us anything about you. What kind of business keeps you out of town so often?"

"Oh," Nancy said, her mind going blank. "Business travel. I mean, travel of a business kind."

"Oh?" the cunning interrogator said, probingly.

"Oh yes," Nancy babbled. "Risky business, monkey business, all the business, really --"

"So, baby," Susan cut in. "I can't drive myself home now obviously. But I think I should maybe get home and rest."

"Or get to the hospital!" Nancy pointed out.

"Maybe we could talk about that in the car," Susan said firmly.

Nancy helped Susan up, and wrapped her arm around Susan's waist. Susan smelled like vanilla and cinnamon. 

"Susan, I'm just going to give you my nephew Jorge's number," one of the ladies said in a stage-whisper as they started towards the exit. "He's very _flexible_." She glanced meaningfully at Nancy.

"Oh no, thank you, very happily married here," Susan said quickly. "Bye, everyone!"

"Flexible, hmm?" Nancy said thoughtfully. "I'd like to find out what that means."

"Shhh," Susan said. "Walk faster. And oh my god, no you don't."

Her breathing came a little faster than normal as they hobbled out to Nancy's car.

Luckily, Nancy's car had not been towed, even though she had definitely parked in front of a fire hydrant.

"Okay, let's get a few things straight," Susan said, once she was settled in the front seat. "One: you were a lifesaver, thank you. Those women are matchmaking demon hellspawn. Two: I do not need a hospital. I have an Ace bandage and some Tylenol at home. Three: if you ever pull an Amber Valentine on me in the field again, I will introduce your right knee to the back of your own head. And no, it will _not_ improve your flexibility."

"Well, good thing my right knee already met the back of my head last year at my cousin's wedding," Nancy said. "The one who married the boy band member. You and I got drunk on the dock on champagne," she added. "I've never looked at heels the same way again."

"He wasn't a boy band member," Susan pointed out. Then she smiled. "That was a fun night, though."

"And now here _we_ are, married to each other," Nancy said. She waggled her eyebrows. "Gosh."

Susan cracked a smile. "Yeah, yeah," she said. 

Nancy nudged her companionably, and grinned when Susan elbowed her back. Her heart was almost back to a normal speed. She turned on the car.

"You were very natural back there," Susan added.

Nancy raised her eyebrows. "Let's not go putting me in the field on the regular," she said.

"No, I mean, physically, you were -- um, natural. Around me." 

Nancy stared at Susan, whose face was going pink. 

"Susan," she said frankly. "I'm the most natural around you."

Susan's face went even pinker. Nancy had worked at the CIA for a long time now, and she'd taken the opportunity to snog more spies than she cared to remember. But putting her car back into park and leaning over to tangle her hand in Susan's hair and kiss her was by far the best risk she'd ever taken.

When she pulled back, Susan ran her finger lightly over the ring on Nancy's left hand. "Sorry about all the wife stuff," she said a little sheepishly. Her cheeks were still pink, but she was smiling.

"Well," Nancy said, and she twisted their fingers until they were holding hands across the handbrake. "It really wasn't so bad for secret identity spy stuff."

"Right," Susan said. "Unlike, say, that time I went undercover and had to eat jellyfish."

Nancy shuddered. There had been an infestation of squirrels that week in the basement which had driven Nancy to distraction, and she still wouldn't have traded places with Susan for anything. "It was just so jiggly," she said. 

Susan laughed, and then leaned over to kiss her again. "We could always make the emergency protocols more, um, permanent," she said. "At least for a while. See how they go."

Nancy's heart was beating almost as quickly as it had been in the grocery store. "You won't believe this, but I've completely forgotten every single protocol we ever came up with," she said. 

She liked the way Susan kissed her breathless after that one. 

"Now, let's get you into a bed and get your legs in the air," Nancy added when they broke apart.

"Oh my _god_ ," Susan said, and started laughing so hard, she had to double over in her seat. 

"You need to elevate your ankle," Nancy said innocently.

"I could kill you in sixteen different ways in under five minutes," Susan said, trying to sound threatening through her laugher.

"I know, baby, and I adore you for it," Nancy said, and finally put the car into gear.


End file.
